That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles

By Lee Vander Boegh –

If there’s one word that sums up Detroit it’s this: “Determination.” Looking for ways to regain its top spot on those “America’s Fattest Cities” lists, the motor city is trying a new strategy: Girl Scout cookie gorging.

Jennifer Sharp, a 15-year-old Detroit Girl Scout, offered even more evidence as to why her city consistently ends up near the top of those annual lists by selling more than 17,300 boxes of cookies on a street corner. Officials say the feat is probably a record, but it’s hard to tell because there is no national record on the books.

Are you kidding? There is no Girl Scout Cookie sales record on the books? I find that hard to believe considering some of the bon-a-fide world records that grace our history books, such as “Laying in a bathtub with the most amount of rattlesnakes” (87), “Heaviest weight dangled from a swallowed sword” (44 pounds) and “Fastest 100-meter barefoot run on ice” (17.35 seconds). Heck, the Guinness Book of World Records even tracks “Most cockroaches eaten in one minute” (36).

If they – whoever ‘they’ are - don’t give Sharp a record for her feat, there’s something wrong with the system. And while they’re at it, they should also give me one for “Most obscure world records researched for the sake of a 200-word Internet blurb.”